abey Bakwas Bandh Kar

So, I yam back, yeah back, back-back really back… Did you miss me ladies?

With another birthday gone, I seriously feel that I am getting older now. Don’t know why but it’s been exactly a year since I studied. I miss being a student. Yeah fox, my last engineering exam (Distributed Systems?) was on 4th July 2008. At that time I was nayi naveli dulhan in the field of blogging so if you click the link and regret clicking it, don't click it. Now I am not going to restart the career crap here again but just crossed another yearly milestone so I mentioned it.

I didn’t blog at all last month since a lot of tod-fod was happening at home. Some modifications and some paint shaint. Few of my friends have asked to my parents that am I getting married after watching the renovation works! Don’t you worry ladies, I am as single as single can be, so you can study for 2-3 years more and then we will think about getting married.

Now, let’s get to few important points. No, I don’t have an opinion on Delhi High Court’s latest ruling which everyone knows. Point is that I started going for Morning walks (alone) after a gap of more than 6 years and have successfully completed 1 whole month except for Sundays. It feels good to walk without any nonsense music, honking, crying kids around. I go to a nearby jungle cum botanical park where we used to go as kids for trekking. Although, one motive of morning walk was to see some ‘Totas’ but unfortunately people like to get up late nowadays. What I usually see there are bunch of Yoga driven veterans gossiping about politics, young boys usually in pairs for which I don’t have any opinion and few fat ladies which cannot become the same again even if they walk 10 Kms a day. I also saw this. Well, while you are alone, evil ideas generate into your mind. There’s a new show on TV. ‘Rakhi ka sywanwar’ or whatever it spells. Hehe, frankly, Rakhi Sawant was not a Baai at my home so I don’t have anything against her. But she seriously knows how to attract media towards her. She should become a political leader and I shall vote for her for the next lok sabha election. All the best for her new show and may she gets her sapno ka rajkumar soon.

But actually I am waiting the show to end. I was first surprised to hear that about 12000 entries were received for such a freak reality show. Now when the show has started in actuality, I have decided to not to see even any glimpse of the show. Well, a distant corner in my brain tells me that I should be part of this show. No bell rings in my head for Rakhi Sawant clad women but I just want to win the show and when I win, I want to refuse to marry Rakhi at any cost. Even if she floods the set up with her tears I will just say that see Miss or whatever you claim you are, this show is named Rakhi ka sywamwar, so whoever the winner gets a rakhi since rakhi festival is coming and you have to tie a rakhi to that guy. Hahaha! }:-P

(Distant shouts of Abey Bakwas Bandh Kar!)

Although, if any one of you always wanted to get married to Rakhi Sawant, don't worry! You can still apply for her in the next season(s) of the show. Arey lamba chalega abhi yeh.. don't worry! If possible, i will also like to start my show as well... but I feel that I will feel sharam/shyness on my swaymwar....!

P.S: Long Live MJ

Birthday Boy

Here!

Bring it on

Those watery eyes may have it in them
That salt and that state of matter
Still they keep staring above to seek something
Something that brings peace
Something that bring joy
Something the replenishes the lives
Something without which everything is NULL
that heals their life their soul..
those empty bowels’ vacuum shall be filled by it
even those cattle are waiting for it
the reservoirs are desperate as well
to add some excitement some pleasure of another kind
few get hyper at this time as well
anyways, those empty canisters are waiting to be filled
those taps have now stopped hissing to stop disturbing
let it come now…
Waiting for Monsoon in our lives..

P.S.: Even I didn’t get this one! }:-D First without rhyming

Bruce Almighty

Dear God,

No, I am not going to say even if I am having uncontrollable urge to say ,

{
Tann!! (sound of GHANTA re!), aaj.. Aaj khush toh bahut hoge tum, haain! Jo part-atheist part-faithful person jisne aajtak tumko koi blog post dedicate nahi ki.. aaj.. aaj woh (aaak thooo (goes well with the scene you see but looks as mouth is full with Pan Parag Pan Masala Pan Parag tintintintin Tiin!)) who iss post k through tumko sawal poochna chaahta hai..” Yes, I will not say this. Okay start!
}

See God, I have been a good boy since my childhood. I never lied to anyone provided it was a matter of life and death, never ever lied to my parents (umm... yes, never lied anything whenever they asked me!), never drank alcohol, never smoked, no beedi, no ciggy not even the hukka! Never cheated in exams (yeah, I might have let others the answers but I tried my best to not see in other’s. Yes, if the wind direction was good and the neighbor’s answer sheet itself curled and I happened to glance the answer, I might have got the idea that my answer is wrong ) and I never asked anyone the answer. Man of principles you see. Never hit anyone intentionally (except my brother, he deserves few punches sometimes but he always returns them along with interest), never stole anything, never saw that kind of movies and that I never hurt anyone’s feeling that badly that unke pass suicide karne k alaawa aur koi raasta na bache i.e. I never hurt anybody’s feeling that badly that they had no option than to train their kids to kill me someday.

So, if I had been a good boy, why is it happening to me. I never got upset with you when somebody stole my cricket bat which had Mohd. Azharuddin’s signature on it. I never got angry when that guy got 3 marks more than me in 10th board and became the 1st rank holder. No, I cannot even brag because what I got was nothing people get nowadays. Nowadays, if you have percentages less than 90, people say, “Ch ch, dekho Teenu, Cheenu ki percentage SIRF 89.99 hai. Khabardar jo maine tumko uske saath khelte dekha. 89% chii…” I never got upset when she (she is an IDIOT and I am proud of saying that) told me that I should pay attention to studies rather than paying attention on her and I never got upset when pouch of my camera got lost.

But I am not happy since a long time now. See God, I know about 50 lakhs lives had to suffer because of the recession in the past 2 years. I am not any saint even if I may appear(hehe). But things are not running well. I am getting jealous of people nowadays. I felt bad when I saw a guy wearing IIT T shirt 2 days back. I feel bad when people whose caliber is not even that to start Kawasaki Caliber (hudibaba!) but they are enjoying their lives even if they don’t know what enjoyment means. Many of my classmates who did not know how to print Hello in C are writing codes for prestigious MNCs. I am not happy. I am confused between 4 things. Web Designing, Software Engineering, MBA or M Tech. How can I choose between these? As a very good friend told me that it is only me who can decide my life but why is that answer not convincing enough. Why I don’t want to talk with college mates? May be because they remind of the past 4 years which have left me nowhere. Why didn’t I study when I was preparing for IIT? May be the problem started when I started preparing for IIT. People forget when they fail. Every day I remember that I have failed on all the important things in life. Be it studies, placement, girls? Or even friends. Where have I gone wrong? People came to me to discuss their lives. They believed that I can give them right answers. Why the hell I am sitting here writing this post and asking answers from you. Why I don't want to join a software company and get lost in thousand and thosands... Why do I think that I should do something different?

Have I been too ambitious God? Is it a bad to be ambitious? Of course, thinking about 200 runs in a T20 and getting restricted to 120 is bad but at least they tried. Am I not trying hard? I need a signal God. Signal to show things I did wrong. Is IIT the signal that keeps on reminding me of my biggest failure? I cannot give JEE again. What is wrong then?

Is there I can get back to where I left? I was a happy smiling person who cracked jokes even when India lost the 2003 World Cup. I have changed now. I did not want to be like this. (Ting: I do not remember that any English teacher in school teaching me that we shouldn’t use past tensed verb when we are using did even when I got almost the highest marks in school. If any school mate reading this can remember that class when they did teach that, main geeta pe haath rakhke kasam khaata hoon, ek ek ka haath kaatdaaloonga usko dono haatho se ek ek chocolate gift karoonga!!)

Where is the signal God? I know that you are not that selfish that you will ask me to come to your tenple and submit my application with 11 Rupee note inside it and decorate it with a pack of Besan K Laddoos. I know you can listen but it is probably possible that you read blogs too.

P.s.: I don’t want to be called as a funny guy. It gives me an impression as if I am a clown. Few days back, a friend a girl pinged me on YM and asked me to crack a joke since she was frustrated with her work. I wanted to hit my mouse on her Avatar but after all it was my mouse and my monitor. No offense Mads, Thanks for that award. But I don’t want myself to be remembered as a funny guy. A good guy with a resonable sense of humor could have made my day and I understand that your intention was exactly that.

Official talks

You must have read this line during early school days. "Bharatvarsh k sabhi log mere bhai behan(1 ko chhod k ofcourse) hain.."
(All the people of India are my brothers and sisters(except 1 ofcourse))

Life is tough for guys! Seriously, you wake up early, shine up your teeth, try to remain in best of your shapes, bath daily religiously, sprinkle deo all over our body, (talking of deo, I am using the not-so-new-now Axe Chocolate flavored deo since last month. I expected the ladies around to get attracted which itself is a non-existent theory now, I am more worried about the ants who may get attracted to the smell and bite off me. As we speak, to make matter worse, the amount of ant colonies in my office has increased manyfolds. I even heard 2 ants saying this lad looks like an easy target, fresh and juicy, slurrp!) Oh getting back to where I was saying that inspite off all the efforts the guy makes, you should look at his face when the girl calls him "Bhaiyya!".

My office is not very office types. I mean, its like a home. (Surprising, isn't it?) We go there, switch on the music, listen to radio/winamp all day, hardly work (or work hardly, both are same) and stand up as soon as clock ticks 6 and go back home happily. What I don't like in our office is the culture of this bhaiyya behana types. I am not the eldest in my office but still few girls have referred to me as Bhaiyya. Sorry bhagwan for saying that those girls were actually behan-type-material but this attitude of thiers can lead to brainwash of other probable targets as well.They should understand the guy's feelings. Bhagwan na kare, but what will they feel if a young handsome (& rich) guy of their dreams comes out of a big limo, with best fitting Armani suit, shining black leather shoes, cool D&G sunglasses, walks down towards them and girls start perspiring because of the hotness, the guy approaches and utters, "Behan ji, jara side dena. Thodi jaldi hai!" Yeh kahan ka insaaf hai melord.

Talking of office, let me sneak out a classified information. We deal with clients who live abroad. US, UK types. Classified info because Obama Uncle was saying that he is going to impose taxes for those who outsource their business to India(and China). I have had enough of this recession saga in the past year and I don't want that to start again other wise I will go gaga. So, at times we need to talk to those clients as well since when it comes to designing, everything must be quite clear. Some of them don't even know how to email and chat. Ch.. ch.. So, I have talked to some of the firangies lately. They sound real polite, open and wants us to understand clearly what they say. But, when it comes to a client who is NRI, my temperature shoots off. Firstly, they talk crap. I mean they put in so much of the accent that makes them difficult to understand. Moreover, if we do even a small mistake on our part, they reply in such a tone that can even make Mayawati shy. Unse achha toh Aussie speak.

Shane Warne/Ricky Ponting speak like this: "Well mate that was a cruicial match for us mate we know that that falaana team was good but as ya know mate we cannot afford lose this kind of match when we are set to play the finals mate yeah b lee bowled well mate he is a great bowler if ya ask me mate but that fella rohit shaaarma is a great indian find mate look out for him yeah ravinder jadeja can be also a future prospect mate ya the pitch was a bit damp but we thought we could sneak in a few wickets before the strategy break mate"

They speak without any punctuation mark. How can a person like me understand that.
(I can feel for the people who have heard me speaking.)

Anyways, tonight its a biggie. And thankfully match is not starting at 4 and more thankfully today is sunday. Dhakkan Chargers versus Royal Chuchhunders. hehe.. I mean Deccan Charges vs Royal Challengers.. [Rajasthan Royals ko bahar kiya tumne! x-( ]. I wish that Gilly blasts the RCB's bowling off like he did with Delhi Dare Huye Devils. Go Chargers Go Chargers Go Go Go Go!!! For those who are unaware of this song, it the theme song for DC Hyderabad (jo apna ho na saka!)

Chalo, Over and out!

Stupidosaur style P.S.: Over and out sound so Cricketing. How can you get out when over is over. Technically, once the umpire says over (even if 6 balls aren't bowled) one cannot disimss a batsman out.